A no-sense ridiculous story...

Unicycling - The passion of the passionists

The following story is highly ridiculous and is full of nonsense. children above the age of 25 yrs must not read. Those having heart problems may read this and die laughing. This was written in my english class again when the teacher was bugging us as usual AND I WAS CAUGHT writing this........anyways read...Thank you for cooperating.

Once upon a time in a beautiful world, where everyone lived happily and when there was no stink in kastu's house, there lived a boy named Akand. He was fond of driving trucks in air. But apparently there were no trucks in those days.(only high tech immobile transomni gliding vehi213s were present).It was around 2150 when everyone was primitive.There were no riots, no murders and moreover more importantly no rapes....Then as usual one day i was still dreaming of flying a truck. then, it happened.it happened 10 years ago, and is still happening when i am 16 yrs old, and will keep happening. I think it must have started a day before the day before tomorrow which is the day after day after yesterday. Confused?? Very good. Even I was confused on that day. So I just wanted to give u guys the thrill of the confusion.
Then I was going on a road which was leading me to nowhere,that is I came back where i had started every few minutes. The exact time in which I moved is 4 mins53s if we take the value of pi as 3.14159 precisely and less accurately and also the length of the day as 24.23456 hrs(m), then after this calculation we get a formula by which we can calculate the age of kasturi which was found to be 16,365,234 hrs. and her weight as 163092grams. So, after knowing about me and my teacher. I would like you ppl to know about my talent and the misadventures I had to face while mastering and nurturing them.......
So, I was still walking along that complicated road which confused me more. Then I reached home safely. Then I had gone to bed without eating food as I was vomiting after reading vineeth's stupid essay.(He was sitting beside me in the class). Then, the next morning as it was the eve of Raksha bandhan, my father bought me abicycle..(WOW......) Then I took my bike for a stroll in the forest of sahara.Then, when, den, I was speeding a tortoise at the speed of 500mph(obviously my bike has nitros on it). So at that speed, somewhere in my mind, it struck to me that I had sub conscious memory loss power of brain malfunction. So I started remembering what I had forgotten. And suddenly it had dawned on me that I DINT KNOW CYCLING........ And suddenly in the ruins of kamasutra(oopss i mean Kurukshetra), along the river basin of Nile, there was a huge mountain made out of hard stone. So according to Newton's II law of hydrodynamical stereocity, there was a huge collision and a supernova bigger than the Andromeda galaxy blew. Then, amidst the smoke, fog and smog, something appeared. Then I was literally shocked. My bicycle was broken into two pieces exactly. And voila, I had a new UNIcycle. And I practised my new gift everyday till night and every night till day. In the same way, I practised for several years, non stop, then I masturbated(mastered) my unicycle. Thus, my passion for those unicylces as a passionists grew. Then I started stealing bicycles and broke them into two and made new unicycles. In that way, I became the proprietor and chariman and managing directorand worker of "Akand unicycles and co."--- the one, the onle, self propelled company which became the largest and the best company in coming years. After tha, I became a writer, a poet and wrote this awesome story just to 'EAT YOUR HEAD'...Thank you

Epilogue- After coming to IIT madras, I was delighted to see everyone using cycles...now my company would become even larger and I would make more unicycles....HAHAHAHA.....


My teacher commented as " You have truly eaten my head"..hehehe

My little encounter with HIM......

This story was written as my ENGLISH home work which was given to us in the summer holidays. It was on the topic "Have you ever changed your opinion about someone that you had liked or disliked earlier?" ......And thus goes my story

Once upon a time in a small village called Bangalore, there lived a very handsome guy who was named AKAND. Surprised?? Yes, thats me. This is my life experience. The next few lines which you are gonna read are the most exciting, thrilling and most important moments of my life. I was new to bangalore, then. My neighbourhood was full of children and it was full of life. Soon i mixed with them. everybody used to be my friend. Everybody liked me as I was a cute and a popular guy. Soon I became the gang leader. Everyone respected me. I gained popularity, name and fame streetwide.

The twist in the story came when I met another guy of my age. He was from the other street. He was a leader too. His name was ANJU KHANNA. We first met when he was bullying a small child of my street. I became angry and gave him a punch straight on his nose. He started bleeding. Then there was the biggest fight among us. Believe it! Bigger than even mahabharat!!! Thus, we became worst enemies. We used to have frequent fights. We always opposed each other.
But one day I saw him helping a beggar( that too a blind one) crossing the street. Soon I realised he wasnt that bad too. But we hadnt stopped our fight.We used to quarrel for hours together.

I just hate that name - "ANJU KHANNA"...

One day, a small child was playing on the road. It was a fine evening. Everything was pleasant. The weather was cool and romantic and a slight breeze blew. What a day it was!!! A perfect one to relax and get a peace of mind.. BUT, there was a big loaded heavy monstreous truck coming on the road. I was shocked. the truck was speeding. And the child was innocently playing with his small ball. I sprinted at the child.But, what did I see?? Was that true???? Was that really Anju Khanna??? He was with the child too. He was playing with the ball. Even he dint see the monster.(I mean the truck there are some idiots who really think it is a monster) . I ran.
Now I had two jobs to do. Save the child, save ANJU,(waaaaaahh I dont wanna do this, but my basic instinct is saying me to do it) and more importantly save the ball.

But God was on my side. The ball was in the kid's hands. And the kid was in Anju's hands. So only one job to do(Go to the market and get a packet of Kurkure). But I had no time to waste. The truck was almost near the innocent kids. I had to save them. What should I do???? Kurkure or save???? Then I made up my mind. I ran to the shop nearby and bought a packet of Kurkure and ate it lazily. And after finishing it I came back. The truck was still coming. Now, seriously I ran, that too in slow motion. The truck was coming. They were playing. I was running. The truck was still coming. The kids were still playing. And I was still running. And suddenly the huge monstreous truck took a left turn...and it was nowhere to be seen. But there was another truck behind it coming furiously. And I jumped at them at pushed them aside off the road in slow motion. The truck whoooozed away past us. Anju was startled. He could not believe his eyes. His arch rival came to save his life!!! He was touched at his heart, then tears came out of his eyes.

He murmered a "thank you" and also said a "sorry". And also touched my feet and begged for mercy. He also asked whether I wanted to be his friend. I couldnt decline his offer. And we became best friends from that day...

I always thought that first impression is the best impression but now I have realised that the best impression is that impression which touches your heart to the max, which makes you believe that everyone has good feelings and they come out eventually depending on the situation. Everyone has a heart. Now I never judge people by looking at them by believing in them. So, all my friends who are reading this story, just remember this is just a story.......dont take it into ur heads.....

Yours as ever,
Akand S

(Epilogue- Anju Khanna was our temporary chemistry teacher who took class for us only for one month.....she was so useless that the school threw her out in just one month...So this is a story reminding me how we cope up with her)